Funny Punnies!

Since Mikey did quotes, i get to do puns. here ya'll go!


The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power. This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.

Bill was short of money and was out looking for a job. Pastor Nelson offered Bill $500 to buy paint and paint the church. Well Bill went out bough some paint and started painting the church. He discovered that he was using more paint than he expected so the added some thinner to the paint, well it is still covered but not as well as it did at first. Well he still was using more paint than he wanted to use, so he added even more thinner to the paint. Well, the paint was too thin to cover well, but Bill still kept on painting. All of a sudden there was a bolt of lighting and a loud voice from the sky proclaimed, "Repaint and thin no more."

There was a man from a very poor country named Majhed. He was so poor, he couldn’t afford shoes, so his feet were very rough. This poor man, because he was so poor, was very religious. He stuck to his religion so much he even followed a strict diet which made his breath smell very bad. This diet also made him extremely weak, so to get up his hopes and to strengthen himself, he would sing a song. This man came to be known as a super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

There were a few expert chess players talking about their recent wins in a hotel lobby. In mid-brag, the hotel manager came out and asked them to leave, so he didn’t have to close the lobby. When asked why, he simply replied, “I’m glad of your success, but I do not need chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”